Today was a pretty amazing morning. You know why? Because I was up and out the door at the ass-crack of dawn – which is both unheard of for me and for the most part undesired- AND made it to work a full 30 minutes early.  The early arrival to work is amazing in and of itself, but add to it fact number one, that I’ve been an average of an hour late for the last 3 months of my broken foot debacle and fact number two, that I actually accomplished two chores before even heading to work, and this early arrival becomes, well, noteworthy.

I had an adorable little rental car which I had to return this morning before work, and most importantly, I had to move the car prior to 7:30 am (ok maybe you don’t think 7:30 am is the ass-crack of dawn, but in my world, it is, so just let me have this) because of street cleaning.  Therefore, I was running out my door at 7:23 with wet, unbrushed hair and minimal makeup to gimpily fast walk the block and half to the parked car where I successfully moved it 4 minutes prior to the sticker of shame being applied to it.  (The sticker of shame announcing that I have prevented my lovely city from being clean with my slovenly disobeying of the law, of course.)

So, I got to my cute little rental and promptly headed to a gas station in order to return the car with a full tank.  Now, I haven’t had a car in 8 years and I don’t pay attention to where gas stations are, so after discovering the closure of the only known station to me, I headed down to 3rd, figuring there MUST be a gas station somewhere there. I finally saw one on the other side of the street, gassed it across oncoming traffic, making a left, and promptly drove straight over the curb into the full service, ghetto-looking gas station (I originally thought it was the entrance, obviously! I’m not an idiot who drives over curbs. Usually.), where the attendant seems to be giving me wide berth, and I loudly proclaimed “I need to be filled up.”  Yep, that’s when the porn movie started.